Hand

Don't tell me you havent done it...

Newspaper

And lots of it, always handy in the back of the ute in the farm days...

Rick Astley Cd Cover

Yes i know what youre thinking. "But it has no texture. How the hell does one use that to wipe ones arse with?"

Use the edge.

Cheese Toastie

Heres one that will do the job everytime! Once your done with the outside you can fold it over and start again with some cheesy goodness. YUM!!

Yellow Pages!

At Chris' house... Actually, after you scrunch them up a bit it's quite soft. Good one for the ladies.

Spinifex Grass

Morning! It certainly was when I used this, on more than one occasion...

Grated Carrot?

Yes i know its a tad strange, but it really works!!

The old classic...

Now... I'm no slob, so lets start this stimulating shit removing display off with something simple...